HOME AND FAMILY LIFE-
The Importance of Home and Family - The Meaningful Life Center
https://www.meaningfullife.com/home-and-family/
Your home and family are your nest, the center of your life, the hub from which all your daily experiences extend. Both as children and adults, our home and family are where we should feel most comfortable in the world. They determine how you make your life decisions; they shape your attitudes, your awareness, your self-esteem.
Home and Family Life. Family Life is a research-based program offered to all Kansas families. It focuses on healthy family functioning and provides a primarily preventive approach. The goal of Family Life workshops is to teach and foster knowledge and skills to enable individuals and families to function optimally.
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Improving your family life can help make your family members closer and prevent conflicts from getting in the way of everyone's happiness. Fortunately, there are lots of concrete steps you can take to make your time with your family more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Method1
Spending Quality Time Together
1
Maintain daily and weekly family routines.
Eat, go to sleep, and do regular family activities according to a predictable schedule. Routines and rituals help establish a family identity, reduce stress, and create a stable, comfortable environment.
In addition to improving communication, regular family meetings can be a major part of your family routine.
Try to practice leaving work at work whenever possible, and focus on your family when you're with them.
2
Make celebrating and holidays together with a family tradition. You don’t have to do the same thing every birthday or holiday. For instance, you could go to a family member’s favorite restaurant or do their favorite activity on their birthday. You’d be sticking to a tradition, but the activities would be varied.
3
Have meals together as often as possible.
Parents work and kids have after school activities, so it’s tough to have breakfast and dinner together every day. However, do your best to eat together as often as possible. Family meals are a key routine and can help you stay involved in each other’s lives.
When someone gets home from work or practice late, sit down with them while they have dinner, even if you’ve already eaten. Spending time together and having a conversation is more important than eating at the same time.
4
Set aside time for regular family activities. Regular activities could include bike rides, walks, or playing cards or board games. If possible, dedicate at least an afternoon or evening per week for a family activity. Keep it low-key, and focus on having fun together and enjoying each other’s company.
5
Do household chores together.
Few people actually enjoy doing chores, but sharing household responsibilities can help everyone in your family take pride in your home. Try to make it as fun as possible, such as by playing music or having contests.
For instance, whoever finishes folding their laundry first might get to pick out the movie you’ll watch together.
Divide chores up into age-appropriate categories. After dinner, your youngest could wipe the table, your oldest could fill the dishwasher, and you could put away leftovers.
Method 1 Quiz
How can you make chores fun?
Make chores into contests.
Make the loser of a game do all the chores.
Make a chore chart.
Only do chores on weekends.
Method2
Improving Communication
1
Respect what your family members have to say.
When someone expresses an opinion, don't dismiss it or interrupt them before they can finish speaking. Maintaining open, respectful communication channels will help your family develop trust and strengthen your bond.
For instance, avoid making fun of your siblings whenever they express an opinion. If your siblings pick on you, try telling them, “I know that all brothers and sisters mess with each other, but it hurts my feelings when you make fun of everything I say.”
2
Avoid harsh criticism and judgments.
Give each other permission to express emotions and act silly without fear of criticism or judgment. When people expect harsh judgment, they tend to bottle things up and avoid sharing their feelings.
If you’re a parent, offer positive, constructive criticism, and try to discourage your children from harshly judging each other. Instead of saying, “No, that’s not how you do that,” say, “Good try, but let me help you do this the right way.”
3
Listen to your family members actively.
Active listening is when you absorb what the other person says and convey that you’re paying attention. Make eye contact with them, nod your head, and say things like, “I understand,” when appropriate. Just listen instead of planning on what you’ll say next, and don’t give advice or your opinion until the other person has finished.
When necessary, ask for clarification. Say, “Wait, what do you mean by that?” or “Was this before or after you saw them at the store?”
Active listening means putting down your phone when you talk to someone. Try not to check your texts or social media, especially if you’re having a serious conversation.
4
Express love and appreciation frequently.
Little verbal and nonverbal gestures of affection go a long way. In addition to saying “I love you,” try to find small, specific ways to show you care for each other.
Using "please," "thank you," and other courtesies can set a positive tone. Giving your parents a hug and saying, “Just want you to know I appreciate you,” makes a major impact. If your sibling is doing their homework and there's an empty glass on their desk, ask them, “Hey, can I get you more water?”
5
Avoid comparing your family to those you see on social media.
It can be easy to believe that because other people always look happy in their pictures and videos that they really always feel that way. However, it's important to keep in mind that every family has to work to keep their relationships healthy and strong. If you start to envy someone else's family, just remind yourself that you don't know what their life is really like, and they likely have family arguments and other issues just like everyone else.
Remember, even if someone else's family takes more vacations or has more expensive things, it doesn't mean they're any happier than you and your family are.
EXPERT TIP
6
Have upbeat weekly family meetings.
A family meeting doesn't have to be formal or focus solely on heavy topics. Every week, turn the TV off and put away the phones, and hang out with each other for an hour or so. Talk about the past week’s ups and downs, any upcoming events, and just shoot the breeze with each other
Try to keep the tone light. The aim is to encourage everyone to communicate freely, feel comfortable, and have fun with each other. Ask questions like, “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?”
Do your best to make sure everyone participates equally. It might be difficult to get toddlers and teenagers actively engaged, but just try to keep the conversation flowing.
Method 2 Quiz
What should you talk about during family meetings?
Illnesses
Work and school
Current events
Light and comfortable topics
All of the above
Method3
Handling Conflicts as a Parent
1
Balance your role as a parent with your child’s need for freedom.
One of the key conflicts in any family is between a parent’s need to keep their child safe and a child’s need for freedom. Remain a figure of authority, but give your children opportunities to earn your trust. Slowly increase their freedom and privileges as they mature.
For instance, set a curfew when your teen goes out, and if they stick to it for a few months, extend it a little later.
2
Try to set a positive example if you’re arguing with your spouse. If you and your spouse have an argument, remember that the way you resolve disagreements teaches your children about conflict resolution. Stick to the specific issue instead of bringing up past offenses or resorting to personal attacks. If necessary, sort out an argument when your children aren’t present.
3
Mediate your kids' fights only when necessary.
If possible, let your kids sort out their arguments on their own. Set ground rules and intervene only when the rules are broken or your kids can't cool down by themselves.
Ground rules include no hitting, cursing, or name-calling. Tell them that they need to let the other person speak and discuss their issue calmly.
If a fight escalates, separate your kids until they cool down, then help them find a compromise. Tell them that your role isn't to assign blame (unless one cursed at or hit the other), but to help figure out the best solution.
4
Communicate clearly and directly when resolving disagreements.
Avoid being passive-aggressive, vague, or sarcastic, especially when handling conflict. Say what’s on your mind, and encourage your family members to do the same.
For example, if your child didn’t take out the trash, don’t give them the cold shoulder or vaguely convey that you’re upset. Instead of saying, “It’s disappointing when people forget to do their chores,” be direct. Say, “Sam, I’m disappointed that you didn’t take out the trash this week. I’m taking away your allowance if it happens again.”
Method 3 Quiz
When should you get involved with your children's fights between themselves?
When they are fighting inside.
When they are breaking the rules.
When you have guests over.
Every time you hear or see them fighting.
Method4
Handling Conflicts as a Child
1
Respect your parents' need to protect you.
While children need increasing degrees of freedom as they get older, remember that your parents are in charge. Their job is to keep you safe and give you the tools you'll need to take care of yourself when you're an adult.
If your parent doesn't allow you to go out without an adult or makes you go to bed early, remember that they have your best interests in mind.
When your parent is open to negotiating something, like a curfew, talk to them in a mature manner. Make your case calmly and clearly, and don't whine or yell to get your way if they say no.
2
Find ways to compromise if you're fighting with a sibling.
Try to avoid blaming or shaming the other person, and say, “Time out - let’s think of a way we can come to an agreement about this.” Keep your cool and find ways you could share a toy or play together.
If you can't come up with a fair solution on your own, ask a parent for help.
3
Try to see things from your family member’s point of view.
Before jumping to conclusions, take a deep breath and try to stay calm. If someone ate your favorite snack or stole your clothes, try to see things from their perspective before getting angry.
For instance, if your sibling stole something that belongs to you, such as a jacket, makeup, or a watch, say to yourself, “I really don’t think they did this to spite me. They probably just want to wear this to school and look cool.”
Tell them, “I know you really like my leather jacket. I understand that it makes you feel cool. But it belongs to me and you can’t just take something without asking.”
4
Avoid getting involved if your parents are arguing.
When your parents have an argument, just let them work it out on their own. Don’t try to be the referee or otherwise get involved. Go to another part of the house, listen to music, or find something else to do until they stop arguing.
If the argument goes too far and becomes physical, talk to another family member, school counselor, or other trusted adult.
Method 4 Quiz
True or False: Don't involve your parents in your arguments with your siblings.
True
False
Community Q&A
Question
How do I have a good family life when I do not think my mother loves me?
Community Answer
That's tough. Chances are your mom does, in fact, love you; she just doesn't know how to show it. That said, be determined to do your best to love her, regardless of how she treats you. And if she can't provide you with the affection and support you need, seek out other older women (aunts, grandmas, mentors) who can give you some of what your mom cannot.
Question
My little sister gets annoyed when I tell her something she should not do. What should I do?
Community Answer
Don't worry about it. Of course, she will get annoyed when someone tries to stop her from doing something she wants to. Try not to be too much of a pain, but do stop her from doing things that are harmful or dangerous, especially if your parents are not around. Try to be friendly about it and explain calmly why she can't do it. Maybe distract her with some fun activity.
Question
My parents and brother abuse me but they say they love me my parents are always fighting or hitting me my brother is always hitting me what do I'm only 12? How do I get them to stop abusing me?
Jared Butler
Community Answer
Talk to another family member, school counselor, or other trusted adult. If you're worried about your safety, get help as soon as possible.
Question
How can I rebuild a broken home?
Community Answer
The first and most important step is to communicate. If people harbor resentment to each other, they most likely won't come to the others with an issue they might have. Make sure that your family knows that you are there for them, and slowly introduce open and honest conversations. (Make sure that if anyone has a problem with you, you don't immediately scream at them. Hear them out and try to think from their perspective.) Once you all can communicate with each other honestly, any further issues you might have with each other can be talked about and resolved.
Question
My life's tough, I get angry super easily and I don't think anyone cares about me. How do I make my family like me?
Community Answer
Be yourself and try to be nice and open with your family. It takes time to build relationships.
Question
My sister shouts at my father. How can I get her to stop?
Community Answer
You can talk to your sister, find out what's wrong, then tell your dad. Be their mediator.
Question
What if no one in my family understands me?
Community Answer
Try planning and talking with the members of your family (alone or together). In order for people to understand you, you have to communicate with them. Spend time with them, ask them about themselves, and tell them about yourself as well.
What can I do if my family always fights?
Community Answer
Talk to your family about how the fights are affecting you. See if you can find a compromise for the situations causing the fights. If it continues, don't play a part in the arguments and remain calm.
Question
How can I stop resenting the fact that I am the only one working at this?
Community Answer
Sometimes that's just how it is. You've got a big heart for putting so much effort into your family because it shows how much you care. Try seeking support from friends or other relatives. If it turns out that you and your family don't have the same interests at heart, you probably shouldn't hurt yourself more by beating a dead horse. You should be confident that you did your best to work it out.
Question
How can I take care of my seven siblings when they all have different attitudes and I need to study for the exam when my parents are going out of town or sick?
Jared Butler
Community Answer
That's a tough situation. If any of your siblings are old enough, let them know that you have a lot on your plate and it would really be helpful if they behaved. Do your best to take of them, but try to prioritize your schoolwork. Talk to your parents or another trusted adult if you're feeling overwhelmed.
ALLEN WAGNER, MFT, MA Marriage & Family Therapist
Our Expert Agrees: Social media can be very misleading, and it's not representative of what's really going on in someone else's life. It's also important to remember that it's totally normal to feel stress or anxiety in your family life. Instead of letting it get to you, use that feeling to make positive changes!
References
- ↑http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/12/rituals.aspx
- ↑http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/12/rituals.aspx
- ↑http://now.tufts.edu/articles/eating-meals-together-family-help
- ↑http://extension.udel.edu/factsheets/building-strong-family-relationships/
- ↑https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201509/7-happy-family-rules
- ↑http://extension.udel.edu/factsheets/building-strong-family-relationships/
- ↑http://extension.udel.edu/factsheets/building-strong-family-relationships/
- ↑http://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-092.html
- ↑https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-habits-of-happy-families/
Categories: Family Life
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About This Article
Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
This article was co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA. Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.
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Español:tener una buena vida familiar
Italiano:Avere una Sana Vita Familiare
Português:Ter uma Boa Vida em Família
Русский:быть счастливыми в семейной жизни
Deutsch:Ein gutes Familienleben führen
Français:avoir une bonne vie de famille
Bahasa Indonesia:Membangun Kehidupan Keluarga yang Baik
Nederlands:Een fijn gezin zijn
العربية:تحسين حياتك العائلية
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Little research has been conducted on the factors that influence family caregivers' ability to cope with providing end-of-life cancer care at home. The purpose of this qualitative study was to ...
Home sweet barn: Dexter family converts 1930 barn into a home for 7
Detroit News|31 days ago
Home sweet barn: Dexter family converts 1930 barn into a home for 7 What was once a wedding venue and part of an old farm is now home for Jeremy and Molly Stewart and their five kids Check out ...
Quarantined family perfectly re-creates Journey's 'Separate Ways' music video at home
USA Today|27 days ago
Steven and Jana Heller's family battled boredom while stuck in their home during the coronvirus lockdown by taking a trip with Journey. The family of six perfectly re-created the rock band's ...
A month of staying home: For a Twin Cities family of six, life has become a hazy frenzy
StarTribune|25 days ago
Yet for the family of six now cloistered in their home in the town of Independence, the once-ordinary daily demands of work and home life have become exponentially more complicated. "I said to ...
Vietnam Veteran Saved Homeless Woman's Life as Kansas City Home Burned, Family Says
Military.com|15 days ago
If he met someone without a home, he offered them his spare bedroom ... a hero to those who knew him in his everyday life. A Veteran and Family Man Forbes, 44, of Glasgow, Missouri, clutched ...
A U.K. Family Used Chalk to Brighten Their House, and the Results Will Amaze You
Woman's Day|30 days ago
But one family in the U.K. recently took its chalk game to the next level to drum up some joy in their community. Inspired by someone who'd used chalk to color part of their home exterior ...
After cops find makeshift coronavirus morgue, family fears for N.J. nursing home resident's life
NJ.com|24 days ago
The sudden, grim revelations about a makeshift morgue crammed with 17 bodies at a New Jersey nursing home — where at least 26 people are now dead from the coronavirus—has left family members ...
13 Things To Do At Home That Are Fun For the Whole Family
Woman's Day|24 days ago
Thanks to smartphones, families are now spending more time "together" than ever before. But they're not really together, according to Quartz. Research published in March 2019 found that family ...
Making family memories and learning life skills under home-based learning
The Straits Times|30 days ago
That moment of empathy from her daughter is part of a trove of family memories ... the enforced stay-home period. She is also using the time to ensure they pick up life skills.
Family files 1st wrongful death lawsuit against Life Care Center in Washington over coronavirus outbreak
ABCNews|26 days ago
Life Care issued a statement in regards to the lawsuit, saying, "Our hearts go out to this family and the loss they ... MORE: Washington nursing home could face fines for allegedly mishandling ...
Lessons in Coping: Creative leisure, communication are key as family stays home amid coronavirus
NOLA.com|30 days ago
Despite Louisiana's stay-at-home coronavirus order, the Hinrichs family has been able to enjoy intimate tea parties, skate sessions and murder mystery dinners. "Every day there is a new ...
Let's move: At-home fitness with your family
Denton Record-Chronicle|24 days ago
The overall goal is to move throughout your day while stuck at home. Here are some suggestions on how to get in some physical activity each day: Create exercise stations as a family: You can have ...
Fun and easy TikTok dances to learn with your family while you're quarantined at home
USA Today|19 days ago
How, you ask? Through dance! With families sequestered at home, learning TikTok dances is today's pastime. You in? Here are some fun and easy TikTok dances you can learn with your quarantine ...
At Home With The Cast Of 'Friends & Family Hustle': Reginae Carter Reveals Her Daily Workout & More
Hollywood Life|20 days ago
What are you doing to workout or stay fit at home? "My trainer has a virtual online training program so every day at 6 [o'clock] I work out with him. I also dance and keep myself active around ...
Nadia Sawalha takes us inside her family home in exclusive day-in-the-life lockdown video
HELLO! Magazine|18 days ago
April 22, 2020 - 13:15 BST Hanna Fillingham Loose Women star Nadia Sawalha invited fans into her family's home while self-isolating in an exclusive day-in-the-life lockdown video during the ...
Vietnam veteran saved homeless woman's life as Kansas City home burned, family says
Kansas City Star|15 days ago
The cause of the fire, which sprang to life near the back of the home about 4 a.m. Tuesday ... Despite the heroic events family recounted at the time of his death, loved ones and friends said ...
A cleverly converted family home with direct access to the Merrow Downs
Country Life|26 days ago
Bartons, at 17, Fairway, one of Guildford's best private residential road, may have started life as a 1930s house (and still look like it from the outside) but step inside and you'll discover a contemporary, light-filled family home with an ...
Phillip Schofield 'moves out of family home into London flat for new life' after coming out
Metro|21 days ago
'It's not as big but it's the beginning of a new life for him. 'It very much also seems as though their marriage could well be over.' The star is said to have moved out of his family ...
